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Thread: Grief

  1. #1

    Default Grief

    We probably don't truly understand the relationships between our dogs. I'm sure we all know dogs who have pined away after the loss of a canine companion, whether the same breed or not. Cedric really misses Vincent: they didn't usually sleep together or seem to be particularly close. Now, though, he cries if alone. I could take Vincent out and leave Cedric at home and he'd be fine, but now he gets upset. I tried leaving Goldi with him for company, but she clearly doesn't help. The one who makes him happy is Maxim, a black and tan boy like Vincent, and Cedric will play with him. He and Vincent hadn't played for years, unless I count them getting under the fence round the new house and going runabout in the hamlet. I do, inevitably, sometimes call Maxim "Vincent" and Cedric's ears shoot up Cedric often lies in my place on the sofa so I have to tell him to move, and he does tend to lie under my feet. I'm sure he feels insecure so he's making sure I take notice of him. I don't think he realises he's now the oldest in the houshold, but he seems to suffer most from the loss of the oldest members of our canine family.

    Jane

  2. #2
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    It's a strange thing..

    When we lost Jake, our Bertie was inconsolable and never played at all - right up to his departure last week...

    Sydney will play but he is so insecure and cries when out for a walk on his own and has to be led out of the door on an evening to toilet.. He wont go of his own accord..

    He's still looking for Bertie... But it's early days...
    Julie, Peter,
    Sydney & Harvey - Jake 21.02.11 - Bertie 21.11.16

  3. #3

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    Lexie was on the bed by Alfie when he went. I laid him out on the bathroom floor whilst waiting for the vets to open. Lexie and Chili both went in to see him a couple of times and say goodbye.

    I'm set that when any more pass, that the others will get to see them
    Click this line to see Alfie's Picasa web photo albums

    Click this line to see Alfie's You Tube videos
    .
    Mark, and my Blen - Lexie DOB 7/07/11, and my B/T - Katie DOB 01/12/12

  4. #4

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    We purposely kept Megs with us when we said our goodbyes to Kizzy and she sniffed her all over as we had been advised to let her do. But she still goes to all the dog beds every morning looking for Kizzy and spends hours staring out the windows which she never, ever did before. It's been twelve weeks now and Meg barks every time she is in the garden alone ( never did before) and on the rare occasion she is left on her own in the house she barks and barks. It is heart breaking to know she is so lonely and we are certain she is continuing to grieve for her big "sister"
    Stephanie.....and two little ladies.

  5. #5

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    Vincent had died overnight in the kitchen and Cedric and Goldi were with him. They weren't in a bed when I went in and it was clear they'd not slept on the same one as Vincent, but neither seemed to take any notice of him, even when I picked him up. I don't know what they sense; maybe once Vincent's spirit was gone Cedric didn't "recognise" him any longer.

    Jane

  6. #6
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Janelise View Post
    Vincent had died overnight in the kitchen and Cedric and Goldi were with him. They weren't in a bed when I went in and it was clear they'd not slept on the same one as Vincent, but neither seemed to take any notice of him, even when I picked him up. I don't know what they sense; maybe once Vincent's spirit was gone Cedric didn't "It makes a big difference recognise" him any longer.

    Jane
    I think there is a huge difference between the other dogs grieving for a dog dying at home and one who is euthenased at the vet's.

    When Angus realised that his lifetime partner Emma wasn't coming back from the vet a couple of weeks later he sat on the carpet staring at me. The stares got more and more intense, then he suddenly sprang at me and locked his jaws around my hand. It was a good job that he had no teeth because that would have been quite a bite. He was okay once he had vented his anger.

    Bubbles and Winston Alexander were in a similar situation, but Bubba died at home on my bed. I let the 2 boys up into the bedroom to see her before I got her ready for a grave in the garden, but WA had a very cursory look and a sniff and got on with the rest of his day. He never seemed to miss her either. I think you're right Jane when you wonder whether it's because the spirit has left the body.
    Warmest wishes
    Flo

  7. #7
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    I so wish that I had brought Bertie home Sydney has now gone into his shell..........................
    Julie, Peter,
    Sydney & Harvey - Jake 21.02.11 - Bertie 21.11.16

  8. #8
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    I have never had a dog of mine PTS at home it has always been at the vets, it's just the way it has happened but I do leave blankets and toys as they were when they left for quite a while afterwards. I have not had any separation problems or searching for their lost friend afterwards but then I have always had multiple dogs never leaving a dog behind on it's own.
    Many dogs pick up on our own moods and atmospheres around them in the home so best to keep positive and the normal routine going as hard as it is. I use DAP spray as well at this time for them so maybe this helps.

    Julie do you have friends with dogs that could visit often and spend some time with Sydney, this may cheer him up and help him.

    Alison.

  9. #9
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    We have tried to keep the routine... All of the toys are still out and I haven't washed any of the bedding yet (must do this weekend though!). Sydney has now decided that he will not go for a walk with hubby... only me.... I know it will take time
    Julie, Peter,
    Sydney & Harvey - Jake 21.02.11 - Bertie 21.11.16

  10. #10

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    Another thing I've pondered about is how the dogs know what has happened if we take the dog to a vet for euthanasia? I am positive that they sense our grief. Vincent stayed overnight when he was first taken ill and Cedric didn’t seem bothered that I’d come home alone, and when I brought Vincent home the following day Cedric gave him only a fairly cursory greeting. Over the years I have had several euthanized at the vets, but more have died at home so the other dogs have been there, and aware. When I took Bijou I was extremely upset, as was the vet, who was pretty fond of her. When I got home the dogs were clearly very disturbed but I’m pretty sure it was because I was. The following day they seemed to be OK, but for several weeks none would go in the crate where Bijou had habitually eaten her meals. It is a blue Croft crate and I moved it as a test: they still wouldn’t go in it; it was the crate and not the place.

    There is a marked difference when rehoming or visiting: I have twice rehomed an “older” dog here. One was Barklie, a son of Vincent, who I’d not sold as a puppy because the “right” person hadn’t come along. I met his new owner halfway between our houses as she lived a good four hours’ drive away from me. The other dogs didn’t seem to notice that I’d come home without him, or even look for him. I later saw him at a couple of shows, both breed specialties. Each time I had Bijou with me and she and Barklie greeted each other happily at the ringside but neither seem concerned when we went back to our crates. Equally, if a bitch has stayed for a few days at the stud dog’s house the other dogs don’t seem to miss them.

    Jane

    PS Barklie took the reserve CAC at both shows! Judges were Dianne Spavin and M. Valette

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